Nice People

"You are going to burn in hell, do you know that?"
"Why?"
"Because you called that girl sickeningly nice. As if being nice was a bad thing."

This was the beginning of a long conversation I had with a friend. I guess it would more properly be called a one-sided rant, as after he said that and a couple of incendiary comments, I was off!

Seriously. I really don't like consistently nice people, on the whole. I am going to say now that everything hereon out is a generalization--there are some wonderful, kind people that I do like, and are genuinely good people and for whom this doesn't apply.

Anyway.

If nice is all you are, then you're boring. There's no substance. You do things for other people and don't have your own personality. I'm not especially nice; I could stand to be nicer. But I'm sure as hell glad I'm this way and not on the other extreme.

I realize that it might be a strange view, but I consider conflict, challenge, intellectual stimulation, to be vital. I do not want to be around someone who is just *nice*. It creeps me out, and I think people who are just constantly nice often do it for the wrong reasons. "They will like me", "They will treat me better", etc.

I also dislike what many people consider tact. Elegance and eloquence and clever turn of phrase in order to smooth things along--yes. Lying to keep the peace--no way. It's a matter of degree. Saying what you mean is better than lying to keep the peace. However, saying it gently, and in the kindest way possible, is what matters.
So tact itself isn't bad, but unsophisticated, untruthful tact is.

Kindness is one thing. I appreciate kindness and graciousness and I'm not a total stickler for bare, complete truth all the time. But I do think being truthful and open and straightforward is very important. I can't count the number of times people have said, in a surprised voice, "Wow. That was so easy. Thank you for being straightforward with me." That says to me that people are not truthful enough with each other.

Nice, on the other hand, is nothing but an overused adjective. If people can only think of the word "nice" when they think of you... I pity you. A lot. Nice isn't real. Nice isn't truthful. Nice isn't honest.

Nice, in essence, isn't nice.

End.