Why It's Best Never to Rely on Anyone

They'll always let you down.

People are so fucking lazy. No sense of adventure, I tell you.

Well, the person I end up with better have a damn well developed sense of adventure, because otherwise I will go nuts. At the very least, they have to be willing to go along with mine and end up enjoying themselves most times.

God, I hate people being all over the place with their promises.

The deal:

Plan originally was to go to South Dakota for fall break. That ended up falling through because of a bigger problem, that wasn't anyone's fault. So my dear housemate Elizabeth and I decided to go on a trip to Michigan and visit such lovely sights as Felch Mountain, Michigan, and the furthest north point of the state, surrounded on three sides for a very long way by Lake Superior.

Originally, this trip was supposed to have seven people on it. One ended up not being able to go because of a concert that she thought was Sunday but was actually Saturday. Another was not able to go because his house was the one we couldn't go to in South Dakota (family problems). Another, upon hearing that we weren't going to South Dakota, immediately made plans to do some other stuff with some other people (and didn't know that we'd be replanning).

However. When Elizabeth and I made the new plan and I broached the topic to the remaining two people, they both said "Yeah! Definitely! Sounds like fun!"

Three hours later, and they've both cancelled because "they feel like being lazy."

... yeah.

So maybe I'm demanding, and maybe I expect people not to give their word if they're not going to do something, and MAYBE I expect people to respect their significant other's desires on how to spend their own vacation regardless of what you want... but I really don't think that's too much to ask for.

Is it?

Nice People

"You are going to burn in hell, do you know that?"
"Why?"
"Because you called that girl sickeningly nice. As if being nice was a bad thing."

This was the beginning of a long conversation I had with a friend. I guess it would more properly be called a one-sided rant, as after he said that and a couple of incendiary comments, I was off!

Seriously. I really don't like consistently nice people, on the whole. I am going to say now that everything hereon out is a generalization--there are some wonderful, kind people that I do like, and are genuinely good people and for whom this doesn't apply.

Anyway.

If nice is all you are, then you're boring. There's no substance. You do things for other people and don't have your own personality. I'm not especially nice; I could stand to be nicer. But I'm sure as hell glad I'm this way and not on the other extreme.

I realize that it might be a strange view, but I consider conflict, challenge, intellectual stimulation, to be vital. I do not want to be around someone who is just *nice*. It creeps me out, and I think people who are just constantly nice often do it for the wrong reasons. "They will like me", "They will treat me better", etc.

I also dislike what many people consider tact. Elegance and eloquence and clever turn of phrase in order to smooth things along--yes. Lying to keep the peace--no way. It's a matter of degree. Saying what you mean is better than lying to keep the peace. However, saying it gently, and in the kindest way possible, is what matters.
So tact itself isn't bad, but unsophisticated, untruthful tact is.

Kindness is one thing. I appreciate kindness and graciousness and I'm not a total stickler for bare, complete truth all the time. But I do think being truthful and open and straightforward is very important. I can't count the number of times people have said, in a surprised voice, "Wow. That was so easy. Thank you for being straightforward with me." That says to me that people are not truthful enough with each other.

Nice, on the other hand, is nothing but an overused adjective. If people can only think of the word "nice" when they think of you... I pity you. A lot. Nice isn't real. Nice isn't truthful. Nice isn't honest.

Nice, in essence, isn't nice.

End.