The Girlfriend
I have a rant for you.
It's about The Girlfriend. Capital T, capital G.
I was sitting in a bar with my friend Misha the other night (I love saying that), with one of her friends, Dara, and Dara's friends (all guys). Dara animates for Adult Swim, and all of the friends she had there do, too. Misha wanted to get to know them, and have them know her, for internship possibilities for the future. So anyway, there we all are, cracking jokes and drinking beer and eating boiled peanuts.
And then, she comes back to the table.
The Girlfriend. You all know her. She's obnoxious. She's got boobs nearly the size of her head. She wears a t-shirt or a babydoll that's maybe a size too small. She often has her hair up in a ponytail, and is wearing cute little earrings and probably too much makeup.
This one was no exception to any of those physical characteristics. She comes back to the table, after ostensibly touching up her lipstick in the bathroom. It's a shame there weren't other girls there to go with her--she probably felt unprotected, alone in an alien world, without her gaggle of BFFs to go with her. Anyway. She sits back down. She doesn't say hi to Misha or me (or anyone else for that matter, but everyone else had already been sitting there when she left). She just sits back down next to her boyfriend and stares off into space, ignoring the conversation and looking petulant. Every now and then she'd say something in whispers to her boyfriend, and he'd get kind of a pained look on his face, or just smile, or kiss her. Finally, after about half an hour, she whispers something to him. He nods and stands up, starts putting on his jacket.
"Oh, are you guys headed out?" his friend asks. He nods and The Girlfriend smiles.
There are so many of these girls out there. Let's review the social characteristics of The Girlfriend, shall we?
1. She adds NOTHING to the table. She'll just sit there and look annoyed or very self-sacrificing. After all, this isn't where SHE wants to be. SHE'D rather be at a movie or a nice dinner, not with her boyfriend's friends talking about ever-loving ANIMATION (or fill in the blank for whatever your interest is), for Pete's sake. I mean, gosh. She's so nice to have let them go here at all, he'd better be SUPER AWESOME to her later.
2. She's a wet blanket. She'll either A. insist she and her boyfriend go at an early hour, B. whine until they do something she wants to do or C., make everyone else do what she wants to do. This last one depends on the group, and how close they are to the guy (or girl) in question.
3. She's not ever going to even make an attempt to be part of the group. Ew.
And as for your friend--
He knows it sucks. It annoys him too, but everyone understands because she's sleeping with him. Everyone likes sex, so they're not gonna begrudge him his girlfriend's company. Everyone knows that if he didn't ask her to come, she'd probably be mad and wouldn't sleep with him later. And everyone knows if she doesn't get what she wants, the same thing will happen. If you want to include your friend, you either have to find some way to get him alone or just do what his girlfriend wants him to do, because he sure as hell isn't going to do something different. Or, you can just not invite your friend, but that sucks because you like him, he's a good guy, and it's not as much fun without him.
So The Girlfriend spoils everyone's time. She's either whines enough that she doesn't want to do something such that no one ends up doing it, sits there looking martyred, or keeps your friend away from you.
Don't be The Girlfriend, people. Have a little respect and if you hate your significant other's friends, don't go out with them. If you don't hate them, try to be part of the conversation and not just talk to your boyfriend the whole time or complain about what everyone's doing. Try to be part of the group. And barring that, just sit quietly, try to enjoy the conversation, and don't be the one who makes everyone do something you want to do, just because you hold sex power over their friend.
Thank you, this has been a Bridget Rant.
It's about The Girlfriend. Capital T, capital G.
I was sitting in a bar with my friend Misha the other night (I love saying that), with one of her friends, Dara, and Dara's friends (all guys). Dara animates for Adult Swim, and all of the friends she had there do, too. Misha wanted to get to know them, and have them know her, for internship possibilities for the future. So anyway, there we all are, cracking jokes and drinking beer and eating boiled peanuts.
And then, she comes back to the table.
The Girlfriend. You all know her. She's obnoxious. She's got boobs nearly the size of her head. She wears a t-shirt or a babydoll that's maybe a size too small. She often has her hair up in a ponytail, and is wearing cute little earrings and probably too much makeup.
This one was no exception to any of those physical characteristics. She comes back to the table, after ostensibly touching up her lipstick in the bathroom. It's a shame there weren't other girls there to go with her--she probably felt unprotected, alone in an alien world, without her gaggle of BFFs to go with her. Anyway. She sits back down. She doesn't say hi to Misha or me (or anyone else for that matter, but everyone else had already been sitting there when she left). She just sits back down next to her boyfriend and stares off into space, ignoring the conversation and looking petulant. Every now and then she'd say something in whispers to her boyfriend, and he'd get kind of a pained look on his face, or just smile, or kiss her. Finally, after about half an hour, she whispers something to him. He nods and stands up, starts putting on his jacket.
"Oh, are you guys headed out?" his friend asks. He nods and The Girlfriend smiles.
There are so many of these girls out there. Let's review the social characteristics of The Girlfriend, shall we?
1. She adds NOTHING to the table. She'll just sit there and look annoyed or very self-sacrificing. After all, this isn't where SHE wants to be. SHE'D rather be at a movie or a nice dinner, not with her boyfriend's friends talking about ever-loving ANIMATION (or fill in the blank for whatever your interest is), for Pete's sake. I mean, gosh. She's so nice to have let them go here at all, he'd better be SUPER AWESOME to her later.
2. She's a wet blanket. She'll either A. insist she and her boyfriend go at an early hour, B. whine until they do something she wants to do or C., make everyone else do what she wants to do. This last one depends on the group, and how close they are to the guy (or girl) in question.
3. She's not ever going to even make an attempt to be part of the group. Ew.
And as for your friend--
He knows it sucks. It annoys him too, but everyone understands because she's sleeping with him. Everyone likes sex, so they're not gonna begrudge him his girlfriend's company. Everyone knows that if he didn't ask her to come, she'd probably be mad and wouldn't sleep with him later. And everyone knows if she doesn't get what she wants, the same thing will happen. If you want to include your friend, you either have to find some way to get him alone or just do what his girlfriend wants him to do, because he sure as hell isn't going to do something different. Or, you can just not invite your friend, but that sucks because you like him, he's a good guy, and it's not as much fun without him.
So The Girlfriend spoils everyone's time. She's either whines enough that she doesn't want to do something such that no one ends up doing it, sits there looking martyred, or keeps your friend away from you.
Don't be The Girlfriend, people. Have a little respect and if you hate your significant other's friends, don't go out with them. If you don't hate them, try to be part of the conversation and not just talk to your boyfriend the whole time or complain about what everyone's doing. Try to be part of the group. And barring that, just sit quietly, try to enjoy the conversation, and don't be the one who makes everyone do something you want to do, just because you hold sex power over their friend.
Thank you, this has been a Bridget Rant.
posted by Bridget Lough at
5:49 PM
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